Friday, June 27, 2008

What is Modesty?

I had a weird thing happen to me, a little while back. I was at a store by myself, that is weird enough, but while I was there I got asked out twice. Twice, by the same guy, even after I said I was married!

Now, I do not consider myself attractive. I think I'm cute, but I am also in my late 30's and quite chubby. So when this happened, I immediately thought it was because of the way I was dressed.

That week, it had been over 100 every day, so I was dressed in a spaghetti straps tank top for comfort. I know what I had on was not modest, by any means, but I never thought anyone would look at me and notice anything but a fat lady. Well, apparently, this guy thought I was an easy fat lady! And that has been bothering me ever since.

So, what is modesty? I guess maybe I was thinking as long as I was not intending to be provocative, it was okay the way I was dressed. Maybe that was wrong of me to think. Is modesty in the way you think, or the way you dress? In order to be modest, do I need to wear only dresses? Or, do I just need to wear my clothing less form fitting, and cover up more?

What do you think?

8 comments:

Lea of Farmhouse*Blessings said...

Hi Nancy ~ glad you stopped by to visit. I love the old fashioned name for flowers. Daffodils around here are called Buttercups. Just has a sweeter down home feel to it, doesn't it? I love Snowball bushes too!

Modesty ~ that can be a really loaded question in some circles, can't it? I do strive to dress modestly and my husband helps me interpret what that is based on scripture. Most of all, I strive to please my husband in the way I dress which is so important.

Don't let that man bother. All woman are beautiful creations of God. He obviously saw that in you. Though he should have left you alone after you told him that you were married, the world just doesn't think that way anymore. As godly woman, we just have to stand up and be the woman God we are called to be!

Best of all, this situation has caused you to reflect on this issue. Read the scripture, pray, talk to your husband and make the changes you feel necessary to walk in the word.

Wishing you a blessed weekend,
Lea

Annie said...

Hi Nancy, I think he saw the beauty inside, you are a pretty lady and you should be proud!
I agree that he should have left you alone after you told him you are married but, people in todays society seem to have lost their values. Dress how you feel in your heart is right,that is where God is speaking to you!
Be proud of the Lovely woman that you are I know that God is and Im sure your husband is proud to call you his wife!
Blessings,
Annie

Mrs. Taft said...

I think modesty starts in the heart and is reflected in the way we dress, but that doesn't mean you have to wear a burlap sack that goes from your neck to your ankles. :) I think we ought to be careful how we present ourselves, but that it isn't necessarily about one standard of dress codes that apply equally to all people. So no--I don't personally think dresses only is the most modest way to dress (besides, have you SEEN some of the dresses in the shops?!). I think dresses and skirts can BE very modest and feminine, but I also think that pants can be modest and appropriate.

Like Lea said, the best thing to do is read the scriptures, pray, and talk to your husband about it. I truly believe that God meant it when He said that if we seek Him with all our hearts we will find Him, and He will give you the answers and convictions you seek.

Rose Mary said...

Hi Nancy~thank you so much for visiting my blog! I hope your little chicks are doing well! We are hatching out a few more today!

I think that modesty embraces so much--not only the way we dress but the way we think. It is something that has changed with me as I get older. I would never dress the way I did when I was much younger--and not just because I wouldn't 'look' as good in it as I did then, but because I am starting to see myself as a woman that God made, loves, and cherishes and I don't want to reflect Him in a bad light.

I agree with Lea and mrs taft--read, pray, and talk with your husband about it. I know my husband is a great help and influence in this area. And, I also try to be a sort of role model for my daughters. I want them to see a Godly and modest woman that wants to please God and her husband.

R~Mary

Amanda said...

oh how i love the comments others have left you in regards to this whole modesty thing. i think it is definitely something that begins in the heart...and has far more to do with the heart than the outer appearance...though obviously what is in our hearts is revealed by our outer "appearance" so to speak.

Suzanne said...

This is an area I struggle with,too. I'm not sure *what* my feelings are. I do think modesty is a heart issue. I don't want to be legalistic. It doesn't sound like you were inappropriate at all; he was the only being inappropriate! Some men can get the wrong idea no matter *how* you're dressed.

Belle-ah said...

Thanks for coming by Southern Somedays...this is a thought provoking post to be sure...modesty is a complicated beast!

miss mary said...

Hi there. I love reading your blog and have enjoyed my visit with you.I love the modesty post..
So you think you're cute do ya?? Well no one is disagreeing here -you're very pretty.
You also have a very lovely family, you have been blessed.
Have a wonderfully Blessed day.
Hugs