Tuesday, August 18, 2009

True Woman Tuesday: Week 9

True Woman TuesdayWe are into week 9 of our True Woman Tuesday Bible Study with Tammi from Valley Girl. Please forgive me for being late! I broke my laptop last night and I had to do everything on my husband's computer during nap time.

We're still focusing on Chapter 2 of Titus. Mary Ann says "Men are told to love us, but we’re told to reverence our husbands. Men are not being reverenced, which has led to an emasculation of men. I wish young women knew how to reverence and adore their husbands, to protect their reputations, and to affirm them in public. Men just blossom when you do that." Last week we talked about sound doctrine. This is a way we can demonstrate sound doctrine. We can't have sound doctrine without putting our husbands first and respecting them.

We are supposed to put our husbands before our children. This still is hard for me, I don't really know why, but I am working on it. Like Nancy said, if we don't cultivate our relationship with our husbands now, it may not survive. Our husband has to be our top priority over children, friends, hobbies, and everything else.

I need to work on making myself more available for my husband. I mean, I'm here when he's here, but I should try to do more things with him that he likes to do, instead of just doing my own thing. Nancy pointed out that when we were dating, I would have dropped anything to go off with him. But, now that we're married sometimes, I do say things like I'm tired, or maybe later. I shouldn't take him for granted, but let him know how happy I am to still be married to him and put his needs above my own. I need to think of ways I can bless my husband every day.

In the next part Nancy tells us not to compare our husbands to other men. Sometimes, I have thought, I'll bet her husband is easier to live with than mine. I know, shame on me, right. But, those people have problems in their marriage too, they may be different problems, but still their relationship is not perfect. We always tend to think the grass is greener somewhere else, but it's usually not.

Nancy says "I want to tell you, the best marriage is nothing more than two sinners continually humbling themselves and knowing how to get to the cross and find the grace of God. The best marriage does not come easily and does not happen apart from the cross."

We are expecting our husbands to be perfect, or at least close to it. But, are we perfect? We all have different strengths and weaknesses. I love this quote by Ruth Graham “It was my job to love Billy and God’s job to change him.” She said it was a great day when she finally figured that out.

Words do harm. We need to build up our husbands instead of tearing them down. He's going to have lots of flaws, but we have to love him anyway. He doesn't need me to point them out to him, either. Nancy asks, in an argument, do you always have to have the last word? Do you always have to win? For some reason, I think I do. I know I shouldn't but, I do. I have been working on this, just by not saying everything that pops into my head.

Nancy says "Ladies, if your children see you roll your eyes and get this exasperated tone of voice when you’re talking about their dad, then don’t be surprised when those children become teenagers who roll their eyes and talk about you in an exasperated tone of voice. You are modeling love and respect to others, to your children in particular." I have been guilty of this and I'm ashamed to say it has affected my children. Just today, I noticed it in my son. I hope it's not to late to change my ways and help him to learn to be more respectful of his father and others.

The last section today is on delighting in your children. Sounds simple enough, right? But, how often to we get irritated with them, speak too quickly in anger, and just not take enough time with them.

Psalm 127 verses 3-5 3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Children are a blessing! We should treat them that way. We need to tell them we love them as much as possible. Like Nancy said "You cannot say it too many times. You can’t say it enough times. Have you said it today to your children? Say it, no matter what age they are. Don’t wait until it’s too late. You don’t know how long you have. Don’t wait until you’re standing over a casket. That’s not a threat. It’s just saying time is short." This reminded me of my sister-in-law who lost her son last year. She has been trying to tell a younger mother who has moved away from her children to tell them how much she loves them now and to spend time with them while she still has the chance.

I can say I think I tell my children I love them enough, because I say it all the time. But, I do need to be more patient with them. Sometimes it's hard being a mommy, but it is so very worth it. I can't let those trying times keep me from remembering that my children are a blessing!

Sorry this is so long, but I felt touched my so much this week. If you want to see what others thought of today's lesson, please visit Valley Girl.


tammi said...

It seems this one hit all of us square between the eyes!! Saying "I love you" and really living it are still two fairly different things. The words are easy enough ~ the actions.... not so much!! So much to work on here for all of us!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us again this week. I can't believe there's only one week left!!

Pamela said...

I thought I left a comment last week...because I know I read this. Sorry for the last response....great thoughts and this lesson hit me hard as well.