On Tuesday I got a call from my "adopted daughter", A.J., telling me her grandmother had died.  It was completely out of the blue.  She hadn't been sick, and was in pretty good health.  I was shocked to say the least.

Cora was married to my cousin, but she was like my second mama.  She took me in when I was a teenager and let me live with her and her family.  She has always been the kindest, most loving person.  She helped to raise most of her grandchildren and welcomed everyone into her home.

A.J. was very close to her "granny" and was quite upset.  The kids and I went over there as soon as we found out and stayed most of the day with A.J., her grandpa, and the rest of the family.  All of the grandchildren were devastated over the loss of this wonderful lady.  My cousin, Kenneth, didn't seem to be too upset, but he did keep saying how pretty she was at the funeral home and how he never figured out what a pretty woman like her was doing with a guy like him.  It was so sweet!  We all mourned and remembered Cora together.

As I sat in the church at her funeral, crying, and listening to the preacher talk of her, I realized I was selfish.  I had kept thinking of how I can't believe she left me and what will I do without her.  I was only thinking of myself.  I guess a lot of us there were thinking how we were affected, instead of where Cora was.  I tried to remember it was a celebration of her life and how she's in a much better place now.  It helped a little, it's just hard right now.

I have been taking this much harder than I have the deaths of other family members.  I guess I thought she would be here for a long time to come.  I am sure time will help, but the pew at church sure felt empty today without her!  Eventually the tears will stop falling, it just won't be today.