Tuesday, August 11, 2009

True Woman Tuesday: Week 8

True Woman TuesdayThis is week 8 of our True Woman Tuesday women's study hosted by Tammi at Valley Girl. The lesson starts out with "how to control your tongue". So, I'm thinking this lesson must be all about me. Again!

We learn we are not to be slanderers. A slanderer is one who attacks the reputations of others. But, sometimes it happens when you don't even realize you are doing it. You may just be having a friendly conversation with someone about someone else and you start talking about the other person without even realizing you are doing it.

This could be destroying that relationship. If you find that you are slandering someone, you first need to humble yourself before God and ask for his forgiveness. Tell him why you think you did it. You should also ask for forgiveness from the person you talked about. If we did this every time, we probably wouldn't slander people nearly as much!

Nancy Leigh DeMoss says that instead of slandering someone, we should "Be intentional about speaking words that edify, that build up, that put other people in a positive light."

One thing she said we could do, was to talk less, because if we are not talking we can't be saying bad things. This would be a hard one for me! I know I talk way too much. I am trying to remember to think before I speak. Here are some things Nancy says to ask ourselves about what we intend to say:
  • Is it true?
  • Is it kind?
  • Will it build up, will it edify the person of whom I’m speaking?
  • Is it necessary?
  • Does the person I’m talking to need to know this?
  • If this were about me, would I want it shared with someone else?

Here’s one that would just cut out a lot of what we say:

  • Would I mind if the person I’m talking about were standing right here? Would I be willing to say it to their face?
If I wouldn't say it then, then there is no point in saying it now to someone else. Even though words can destroy a relationship, they can also build one up. We just have to be careful of what we say.

The next section is on addiction. You might think, you don't have an addiction, but are you sure? Nancy lists these addictions: alcohol, drugs (prescription, or not), overeating, gambling, porn, romance novels, television and soap operas, and spending money by overshopping.

Some of these, I didn't even think of when she said addiction. Some of these are not wrong when done in moderation. The problem comes from overindulgence in them. When you have to have them above all other things. Then they become addiction.

For example, when you are shopping and you have to have something. Even though you know you don't have the money for it, or you don't even need it right now, but you think you have to have it. That is when it is a problem. When you get it in your time, because you want it. When maybe you should have waited and let it come in God's time. Because his time would have been right for you, but you just couldn't wait. Then we are mad at ourselves for not having any money to buy what we actually needed.

Romans 7:15 For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I
would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.

We can never find true freedom from any addiction except through Jesus. He can take the bondage to these sins away.

The last part deals more with older women's responsibility of training younger women. I was thinking as I was listening to this that I'm not older yet, I don't have to do this.

But, Nancy says "that every woman is an older woman to someone. You may be 23, but you’re an older woman to a 16-year-old. So there’s some sense in which all of us should be engaged continually in the spiritual development of younger women."

I may be able to teach a woman in her teens or 20's something, although, I'm not sure what right at this minute! But, I know that I have a lot to learn from a more mature woman. It's funny, I used to think I knew everything, and no one could teach me anything, lol! My thinking has really changed.

If you would like to read what others thought of this week's lesson, you can go to Valley Girl where everyone is linking up.
True Woman Tuesday


Anonymous said...

Such important words Nancy. Thanks for sharing this with us this week. The older I get, the more I am eager to learn from others.

tammi said...

Gossip/slander is SO easy to do without really realizing it! And so many Christians do it in the name of concern and "prayer requests." It's a tricky, tricky business.

I loved lesson 24 ~ older women teaching younger women. I didn't enjoy quite so much having Nancy point out that we shouldn't necessarily wait for an opportunity to present itself and that we should take the initiative ~ whether to mentor or BE mentored ~ but I thought she had some great encouraging thoughts.

Eggs In My Pocket said...

Such wonderful words, wonderfully written! I so agree.....our tongues is what gets us into the most trouble! blessings,Kathleen

Tammy said...

"It's funny, I used to think I knew everything, and no one could teach me anything, lol! My thinking has really changed."

Ain't that the truth!!

Gossip is definitely easy to do without even realizing it. There's very good reason to listen more and talk less I'd say.

Thanks for your thoughts again this week!

Donna(mom24boyz) said...

I honestly dont get much time to surf and blog hop. I was glad I got the chance to see this post. I love Nancy Lee DeMoss. I have read a few of her books. I know what you mean about he talking part. I am always telling my boys...if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all!

Recently we were at coop and my 11 year old shared something with me that he felt really bad about. He was sitting next to a friend (he had only known this boy for a few weeks but was really clicking with him) He turned to the boy and pointed to a much older girl in the coop and said "Boy, she is kinda ugly" His friend giggled and said "Man, that's my sister!"

Talk about sticking your foot in your mouth! Lucky for my son the boy thought it was funny, but I used this opportunity to stress to him that if it is simply not nice, don't say it! He said he has definately learned his lesson. I can only hope :)

Pamela said...

Talk Less. This is advice I need to heed. Why is it so hard to guard our tongues?!